South Kent Harriers (25 years on the road! 1987-2012)

Trying to get any element of consistency is proving to be impossible. I seem to string 10 days or 2 weeks together and then suddenly BANG - something else gets in the way.

Sun - 2 hours 2 mins (easy) with LF

Mon - 56 mins (easy) + 6 x strides + 5 mins UR + circs

Tue - 60 mins - incl Aussie Fartlek + 4 x100m + 5 mins UR + 2xcircs

Wed - 72 mins (easy) with RL + 5 mins UR

Thu - 48 mins (easy) + 5 mins UR - Struggled to motivate myself to run tonight. Tooth/teeth giving me quite a bit discomfort.

Fri - Woke up feeling battered. Face swollen. Look like the Godfather and speaking like him too. Took pain killers and went to work. Felt pretty rough all day and the earliest appointment I can get is Monday morning. Decide to make an emergency Hospital visit. Given antibiotics and advised to take high strength pain killers.

Sat - Woke up. Face looks puffed up. Pain not so bad, but feel very lethargic. The chances of making a run today is slim and tomorrow (A and D 10k) looks like a no show. Disappointed, because that race would have given me an indicator I desperately need. Going to take the decision to the wire, but sensible/rational side says don't be stupid.

I hope you did the wise thing.There is always another race and you certainly do not want to run unless you are  100 per cent.

Ran (stupidly) and wasn't 100% at all. Got to 3k in 10.15 and was finding that a push. Fitness, tiredness and niggle kicked in and at 4k I threw in the towel.

It's going to take time to process. January has been a shocking month for all sorts of reasons. I'm totally numb, sore, lethargic and totally bewildered about what direction to follow. It's more than a running thing. Running is just another facet of life that causing everything to overflow.

I think I've lost the battle with any hope of getting back to form. It's got to the point where turning up for any race is just pointless. I will never be happy with slowing times with age or other excuses. I can't accept that. Finishing a race with a time 5-10 mins outside my best is never in a million years going to make me happy. For me, it is a total waste of time. I'd be better off staying at home watching countryfile or farming diary.

It's time to walk away for now and it could well be the finish. I've had enough. It's not where I want to be right now.

So sad that things have gone so badly for you and really hope that your injuries wil soon heal.You are still a very talented runner and one who has survived many problems.You have achieved a lot in family,career and,of course,in athletics.

From one who has also suffered several downs, both in running and job (my doomed headship) please keep going.You were getting back and I have no doubt that potentially you could have quite an impact on the vet scene.Best wishes and you can always bank on support when it is needed.

Barry Watson at February 8, 2011 at 6:07 PM

So sad that things have gone so badly for you and really hope that your injuries wil soon heal.You are still a very talented runner and one who has survived many problems.You have achieved a lot in family,career and,of course,in athletics.

From one who has also suffered several downs, both in running and job (my doomed headship) please keep going.You were getting back and I have no doubt that potentially you could have quite an impact on the vet scene.Best wishes and you can always bank on support when it is needed.

Thanks Barry. I value your thoughts as always. I'm afraid I just can't see a return. It's been 3 years of trying to overcome injury. That's 3 years of not being able to train or race properly. A combination which points to reversibility of prior fitness and race level. I'll never say never, but it looks highly unlikely. I need to take some time away and take the pressure off. Making an impact at masters would be great, but I will only return if I am certain that I can do it. For now this is far beyond the horizon.